


Popcorn

by Synnerxx



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Crack, Gen, Humor, Out of Character, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-15
Updated: 2008-08-15
Packaged: 2018-06-10 13:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short crack fics about the WWE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Popcorn

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with my niece.

Glen sighed and unlocked his front door. It had been a long and tiring day at the Ring, and he was looking forward to a nice, hot shower and a sleeping well until noon tomorrow. He had the day off. Actually, everyone did. Vince was in an oddly caring mood.

Walking into his living room, he was promptly snapped out of his haze.

"What the hell?!" Glen yelled in surprise.

"What?" Mark said, shoving the popcorn behind him.

There were people in his house. Lots of them. Mark Calaway (The Undertaker), Matt and Jeff Hardy, Paul Wright (The Big Show), Jay Reso (Christian), Adam Copeland (Edge), and Steve Williams (Stone Cold Steve Austin).

"How did you all get in here? Why are all of you here? Never mind! I don't want to know. Just get out! Go to Marks' house!" Glen was pissed. Well, that was the understatement of the year. Cries and protests issued up from all the so-called "tough guy" wrestlers.

"Shut up. Mark, you have some explaining to do." "Why me?" "'Cause I know it was you." "...It wasn't?"

"Mark..." Glen trailed off darkly. A sigh.

"Fine. I stole your keys once and made copies of your house key."

Glen stared at him in disbelief. "Words cannot describe how bad I'm gonna hurt you."

"What about the rest of us?" Jeff asked, somewhat scared of The Big Red Machine.

A chuckle emerged from Edge. Everyone turned and stared at him.

"What? It was a funny part." he snapped. Another sigh from Glen.

"OUT!!" he roared.

Everybody flinched. There was a weird crunching noise from under Mark. It was his turn to be stared at. Glen walked curiously towards Mark.

"What is that, Mark?" Glen asked.

"I don't know, what do you think it is?"

"Popcorn. MY popcorn."

"Ummmm, it's not?" Mark said, unconvincingly.

"It totally is." Steve said.

"Shut up. He was falling for it!" Mark hissed.

"Pfft. Yeah right." Matt murmured.

"He was! I know he was!" The Deadman shouted.

Glen groaned as they stared to argue amongst themselves about whether or not he was falling for it.

"Hello! Hello! HEY!!" Glen waved his arms around, getting their attention.

"What?" Christian asked.

"Go home. Go to Marks' house. I don't care. Just get out of mine."

"Hey Glen." Mark's voice was soothing.

"What?"

We're watching "See No Evil"!

"Well in that case, you can all stay."

"Really?" Jeff looked hopeful.

"No." Glen deadpanned.

"Come on guys. Let's go." Matt said.

Grumbling and mumbling, they all filed out of Glen's house.

Everyone except Mark.

"Good thing you got rid of them." he propped his feet up on the coffee table.

Glens' right eye twitched. "You too." he said tightly.

"Aww, but I'm your brother. And I'm older than you."

"So? It's my house!"

"So? It's my house!" Mark mimicked.

"Stop that!"

"Stop that!"

"Stop being immature and leave."

"Stop being immature and leave."

"I mean it." Glen was ticked off, again.

"Ok, I'm sorry." Mark smiled.

"Are you leaving?" Glen looked hopeful.

"Not a chance." Mark unpaused the movie.

And just like that, all of Glen's hope was crushed.

"Be quiet. I'm at the part where you shove that cell phone down that chicks' throat." Mark pulled out the popcorn and started eating.

"Be-" Glen was cut off by Mark shushing him.

"Fine. You can stay." Glen gave up, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle.

Mark smirked and ate that last bit of popcorn.

"Give me some popcorn." Glen held out his hand.

"That was the last bit. Sorry. Last package too."

"MARK!!" was all the neighbors heard.


	2. Kandy Kane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short crack stories about the WWE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> co-written with my niece.

"This is sooo unfair." Glen whined. "Oh, shut up and pay your dues." Mark grinned evilly at him. "I paid my dues already!"

"You lost the bet!" Mark slapped him upside the head. Glen inhaled sharply and bit his tongue to keep all the vicious replies at bay.

"I hate you." Glen glared at Mark. 

"I love you too, little brother."

"What did I ever do to deserve this??" Glen asked the ceiling of his and Marks' locker room.

"Um, lose the bet?" Mark smirked. 

"Yeah, yeah." Glen waved him off. "Do I really have to wear that?" 

"Yes." Mark held up the offensive clothing. "Hurry up and change. Our match is up in a few minutes." 

"Fine." Glen said, glaring at Mark.

He snatched the trunks out of Marks' hand and stalked off to the restroom, mumbling curses all the way. 

"Aw, wittle Glenny finally learned how to swear properly!" Mark cooed at the closing door. 

"Shut up, you evil, manipulative bastard." Glen slammed the door with enough force to shake the walls. Mark merely laughed.

**The Beginning of the Match**

Matt and Jeff came out onto the entrance ramp, with Jeff doing his mild seizure bit and hopped into the ring. A few seconds later, 'Takers' "Dead Man Walkin'" was heard and the arena burst into cheers. Mark stalked down the ramp, trying to contain his glee at what was coming next.

The crowd turned expectantly towards the entrance again, waiting for the flames that signaled Kan's' arrival. Instead, they heard, "Who can take the sunrise? Sprinkle it with dew. Cover it in chocolate, a miracle or two, the Kandy Kane can, the Kandy Kane can." A moment of shocked silence reigned when Kane finally walked out. He was dressed in a full-body suit that had red and white stripes. The ensemble was completed with a court jesters' hat, red and white striped, with tiny, golden bells on the end of the three points. He was scowling towards the ring, mouthing the words, "I hate you." at Mark.

Jeff and Matt stared at Kane then, unable to contain it any longer, they leaned into the corners, laughing helplessly, tears pouring down their faces. Mark soon joined them.

The fans went wild. Screams and laughter echoed up and down the street outside the building.

Teddy Longs' music hit and he stomped out. "What is going on, playa?" he demanded of Kane. 

"Well, um, Mark and I had a bet and I lost it and this is what happened." Glen explained sheepishly. 

Teddy looked at him, speechless. Inside the ring, Mark, Matt, and Jeff had tears streaming down their faces. 

"Well, I guess I'll let the match continue." Teddy looked the Kandy Kane over. "Maybe this will be your new gimmick..." he trailed off and watched as Glens' eyes widened.

Mark hopped out of the ring and walked over to Kane and Teddy. "Are we going to have a match or what?" 

"Match is continued." Teddy walked backstage 

"I hate you."

"So you've said."

The match went on with Mark pinning Jeff. The Hardyz went backstage laughing all the way.

Mark and Glen walked back up the ramp and into their locker room. Once inside, Glen turned to Mark and said, "I will get you back for this." He turned and grabbed his bag and walked into the bathroom to change.

Mark grinned and said, "I look forward to it."


End file.
